look at the sky .

The sky brings tear in my eye,
The majestic blues that flirt with the oranges,
The birth of blushing yellows,
The veiled whites shying away
The sultry black seducing his way,
The arm offered by the tangy tangerine
The pretty pinks in his fingernails,
Tonight the king of night is away,
The hues are scheming, the wild gossips say,
Tonight we look forward to this magical array,
With smiles, giggles, roars,and moans
The dark night finally has his way!
They collide, play
Oh! What a day
The birth of transparent little drops is here to stay
The thirsty earth rises to glorious day.

The one who gave up.

My numb hands. My feet are giving away. A few more seconds, a few more breaths. This is it!  i cannot give up now. This is one chance that i have got. Not another ever. This is my only escape. These shackles, traps, of human relations that surround me. Disguises of love. The security these lowlife people will have in my losses and mediocrity. But i can now prove them wrong. They will never win. Why, when our bodies are trapped our souls free? Imagination is a blessing for prisoners of time. They don't even really care about me. A few more years and they will start hating me. More i grow onto them they will start expecting things from me. Despising me. Taunting all my views mocking my being. I will not let them win. I'm so lucky i remember it all.They say it will take a millisecond. I'm cold and scared. But i have made up my mind. I will not go through this all over again. A deep breath. I tighten my fists. The lights dimming. The bright colorful haze. This intoxicating luminosity of pure whiteness. And i see it..
.
.
.
.
.
.



- We are sorry to inform you madam , your child is stillborn.

The tired stranger

What is wrong with her, why is she following me? ...
But she is not really looking at me...
Maybe she wants to go to the same place where i am going...
Why then is she walking so close...
There is something unsettling about her face though..
I mean look at her...
Shoddy face.. unkempt hair...
Ugh .. those clothes...
Gosh i should ignore her..
Why can't i stop obsessing about this woman..
Okay..Stop think.
STOP.
Think of something else...
popadidumdummm
popopopopdadidumdumm...
Okie..
This girl is so repulsive...
IS she mocking me?
Okie..Ill walk really fast.
Okay so i guess i left her behind somewhere
Finally
wait what .. she is right next to me..
I take a good look at her
Her tired eyes
lips.
jaw...
Loose strands of brittle hair..
 I feel a jolt
I stop where i was 
The world doesn't
She walked past me..
She is me!
Who am i then
I run behind her..
Only to witness her being crushed.
..A large sea green tempo
Why did i run to save her...
She was dead long ago.
I was alive ever since. 

Rain o Rain

Rain o rain
Wash away my pain
Put off the burning flame
Am tainted with your love

The drops of this virgin water
Dissolve, me if you can

My shadow has deceived me now
Alas it is nothing compared to your deception

With heavy steps
I walk away from your memories
The distance between you and me is great
I look again and ask myself, is it?

The flames have taken over me
My ashes will be memoirs 
The proof that i am tainted
With your love

My soul is withered
The marks and these bruises
They speak for themselves
For you to witness

My story has ended
With the cremation of me
But this will stay 

i thank this woman!

http://www.zabrinah.com/2011/03/consumed.html

A battle lost.

Loss.
What a vague concept. People loose so much. Every day , every single hour. What determines the degree of loss. What makes us continue living after the loss. Every single day i try to find hope. Hope for love , for peace . All i get is more proof of its Absence. I've lived 20 years of my life, as a i reflect back i realize nothing has ever gone according to what i planned. What am then supposed to live for ? what do i look forward to? if nothing i want is ever going to happen. My day consists of waking up breathing and living in a parallel world. Nothing i do makes any sense. I've become a slave to the robotic life that the human race is subjected to follow. With every breath, every second of exhaling i realize everything is a mirage. The confidence the value the dreams are just illusions. People have no clue. Like me. Lost. When is the time to gain then? 

Sane or ... Sane ?

What is sanity?
Well i watched this movie called Se7en which has brad Pitt and Morgan freeman.Well the movie put me in a dark space. A really really bad dark space with no overtones of other shades. The movie has a bizarre ending. Looks like i was having a lot of revelations regarding or dealing with the subject of insanity. John Doe was clearly insane. I'm a little disturbed i guess. But Seven and god bless America made me realize one thing i could totally pull off being a serial killer. Maybe i could pull off being a hitman.. okie hitwoman wtever. I realized how one heartbreak can make people go nuts. Like my guitar Sir mentioned that in rockstar maybe the whole point of jordans character was that he lost himself, his identity his thoughts , he simply stopped living in this world. His sole object of desire was taken away from him and that when he got the things that he struggled for all his life he did not find sense in them. Sir mentioned that when a person experiences that crazy degree of pain they stop seeing themselves. They get a bird's eye view of the whole tide of life. What is sanity? what if all the life that we live during the daylight is a mere illusion. The pain that we experience, just a mirage? what if there are happier worlds in the parallel universe. Where there is nothing like pollution, bad attitudes and heart breaks. waiting to discover things till im alive and don't kill myself... which i can't guarantee for a long time. Bye for now.