Thursday, July 25, 2013

Apocalypse of certain moods

"Chandni raateein sab jag soye hum jaage taaro se kare baatein"

My to go song these days. Life changes so drastically yet so silently. Just like still waters. You wouldn't know the strength of the current unless you swim in the opposite direction of it. I am 22. It still is a little unbelievable that i have lived 22 years of my life. He is happily dating. It's been 2.5 years. I made-out with some one i wanted to make out for a long time now. It sucked. Perry's ex kabir is engaged to be married. Very soon all our exes will get engaged. Armaan is growing taller. I'm becoming stereotypical style-less human being. But i haven't given up hope though. On love, Life and things. I've realized one thing life goes by too fast and now it's on it fast forward mode. I had sent a long letter to him on his gmail id. He did not reply. Any normal human being would have perhaps. But, well. 
I found a new job. It's a huge company. Very fancy. I hope i manage to run my business and don't loose my sense of ambition. I hope i loose my virginity this year to someone i trust. I hope i am able to trust. 

I'm glad of the woman i am becoming. I hope the mistakes of today seem like the apt choices for tomorrow. Days come and go by, the really tiny things that happen that you almost miss out on are the ones that stick to you the most. I can't wait to taste success. But in the end isn't it all hollow. Nothingness. Like the black hole. Everything is nothing after all. 

I am at a placid stage at my life. Serene and calm. I am slowly breaking free from the go-oey bitterness that encompassed me and became a part of me for so long. 

I am happy as long as he is happy. I'll find someone i guess, someone who will be cool. And maybe cool enough to make me laugh also. 

I guess i'll wait this time and not be hasty. 

Until then. Breathe.