i thank this woman!

http://www.zabrinah.com/2011/03/consumed.html

A battle lost.

Loss.
What a vague concept. People loose so much. Every day , every single hour. What determines the degree of loss. What makes us continue living after the loss. Every single day i try to find hope. Hope for love , for peace . All i get is more proof of its Absence. I've lived 20 years of my life, as a i reflect back i realize nothing has ever gone according to what i planned. What am then supposed to live for ? what do i look forward to? if nothing i want is ever going to happen. My day consists of waking up breathing and living in a parallel world. Nothing i do makes any sense. I've become a slave to the robotic life that the human race is subjected to follow. With every breath, every second of exhaling i realize everything is a mirage. The confidence the value the dreams are just illusions. People have no clue. Like me. Lost. When is the time to gain then? 

Sane or ... Sane ?

What is sanity?
Well i watched this movie called Se7en which has brad Pitt and Morgan freeman.Well the movie put me in a dark space. A really really bad dark space with no overtones of other shades. The movie has a bizarre ending. Looks like i was having a lot of revelations regarding or dealing with the subject of insanity. John Doe was clearly insane. I'm a little disturbed i guess. But Seven and god bless America made me realize one thing i could totally pull off being a serial killer. Maybe i could pull off being a hitman.. okie hitwoman wtever. I realized how one heartbreak can make people go nuts. Like my guitar Sir mentioned that in rockstar maybe the whole point of jordans character was that he lost himself, his identity his thoughts , he simply stopped living in this world. His sole object of desire was taken away from him and that when he got the things that he struggled for all his life he did not find sense in them. Sir mentioned that when a person experiences that crazy degree of pain they stop seeing themselves. They get a bird's eye view of the whole tide of life. What is sanity? what if all the life that we live during the daylight is a mere illusion. The pain that we experience, just a mirage? what if there are happier worlds in the parallel universe. Where there is nothing like pollution, bad attitudes and heart breaks. waiting to discover things till im alive and don't kill myself... which i can't guarantee for a long time. Bye for now.

memories..

A laazy Sunday afternoon, the rain drops are falling on my window panes. The sky is colored in shades of blue and violet simultaneously. Well who wouldn't enjoy waking up today and being alive just to witness the magic of nature. Well today i would like to share a few lines from the movie i watched sometime back. The Holiday. It is quite well known amongst people who google 'movies to watch after a bad breakup'. Anyways i watched it and somehow kate winslet makes me feel like im her.. in the movie that is. I'm wondering how long it will take me to move on. Counting days... well here are a few lines from the movie which remained with me thus putting it up on my blog.

I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible, and how it can actually ache in places you didn't know you had inside you, and it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends... you still go to bed every night going over every detail and wonder what you did wrong, or how you could have misunderstood, and how in the hell for that brief moment you could think that you were that happy. And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new, and you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again, and little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted, that will eventually begin to fade.

Benefits of being single

1. Girls all around me who are in a relationship have only one ambition in life i.e is to get married. Single women are more career oriented. Have some ambition in life to be equal to a man. Like get stuff on their own without monetary or any other kind of help from their husbands.
2. Single women can wear whatever they want. No restrictions of clothes no more restrictions on what boyfies consider obscene.
3. Eat a lot of chocolates, no one to comment on eating habits of any kind. Vegetarian boyfriends always force girlfriends to turn veg. How many guys ever turned vegetarian for girl i ask?
4. No more jealousy , no more insecurity, no more crying spells. Less emotional drama.
5. SAve money, no expenditure on buying gifts for the boyfie, or on dinners or movies, All the money saved can be spent of buying clothes and being fabulous.
6. Having more time since there is no object to be obsessed about. This time can be used to pursue a new hobby. Music class, dance ,craft , DIY's anything at all.
7. Flirt with all the cuties out there, no guilt of being committed.
8. The joy of being with oneself :) is so amazing , As they say it is necessary to loose yourself to find the real you.
9. Being single makes us feel the need to take care of ourselves more, more pedicures, more spa treatments , luxurious facials :P feels fabulous.
10. After being single for so long now, i have understood one thing i might cry at times, i might be sad at times. But being single is definitely better than being stuck in a disastrous relationship.
11. Also this time gives you an amazing opportunity to stop being spineless. Stand on you own two feet and stop letting some rude boys define who you are. There are so many bad men out there. But once in a while some nice ones might appear. :)

love story.

everyone deserves a love story,
forgiving self before forgiving others,
punishment for a lifetime is unfair. 

a day without you.

I have realized that a day without you Mr.Crackpot is fabulous.
The world is luminous
I don't think i have problem breathing anymore.
My heart has stopped being sore.

Kudos to me for writing the worst piece of poem :)
I'm loving the new wacky me! :)