just so frustrated !!!

okay ....so bout my future i had put a lot of thought into in ....into what my profession will be ... well .....on some recommendations i decided ill pursue commercial arts , k so i got admissions into sophia's .. k ill gladly list down 10 things i hate bout dis particular college ....
1. idz a GALS college .....evrytime i walk down the college lane , i feel disgusted watchng lesbians cuddle up .... k i am not homo phobic .... im just not comfortable ...
2. i dont like guys ... but in the class ...idz so boring i sometimes feel der has to be some type of loser guys to light up the atmosphere at least!
3. the language!!!evri f****** person speaks in marathi !!!
or even bettr gujurathi ......da languages r nice ....no offense bt shut up in the class fr heavens sake !!
4. my professors .... oh...hw could i even start about them ....or their absolute inability to recognize art .....i hate them , i despise them ...and evrytime they tell me to throw my wrk in the dustbin i feel like pushng them out of the window .

i have like 3 profs. ill glady describe them
1. mr macchar ...as ive termed him .....hez a complete pest .....and a pain in da a**
2.dard-e-disco .......he has long hair which he's more concerned of..than the students ...he sings lame hindi songs and cracks non-humorous jokes on which the slut-chicks will laugh horribly .. i cud just roll out and act dead !!
3. crazy bitch ..my only female prof ......shes absolutely crazy ....she'll speak utter rubbish in the class and expects us to reply or entertain ......
an example .... maine nah 1 din ek ladki se pucha ...tum smoke karti ho kya ....and usne haan bola .....mai toh itnii shoooockkk ho gyi ......!!!! lol i meannnn wdf !!! ....talk art in the art class lady .....let the gal smoke in peace !!! ..... k .....

so this is wt my life is doin to me ....apart frm other 10 thousand things practically out to screw my life ...these are just a tiny glimpse ..

undeserving !

i dono y i wasted my time in apologising or even feeling all guilty bout things , ive done to people :\.....well after a hugee session with my sis (my therapist as i gladly label hr) gave me girl talk on how i should forgive , forget and apologise and move onnn n all , thus trying to find my inner peace ...well i took the first step of apologising .... :| ...seems like thngs went a lil out of track ....i apologised to many people ....(no i relly did ) ......sent like a lotta texts nd stuff.....nd guess wt i get in return ...a whole lot of character assassination !!! how ungrateful :| ...feelz like going and killing the moron ......well...the next step was to forgive .... bt .....seems like i cant turn into a saintlike human being after all .....well......my inner peace ...ahem ....seems like somethng distant to me .... hw can people just be soo.....mean ! ..... i mean wdf ....i kept my ego aside to say sry .... !!! well.....such kind schmucks need to b slapped!! ....or even kicked and bruised ......hmmm.......well rte now bashing about him makes me feel bettr ..!! i shudve known .....such kind of guys who ony noe to treat women as sex objects never deserve a apology even though u do sumthn to hurt them ...welll ive figured da jackasses deserve it!! every bit of it .... :x :X

aqUARIum

....i went to the aquarium. it was fun . i went after sum i dono 8 yrs.
i saw many fishes nd a turtle nd idz babies . i wudnt like to live in a tank . the 1st time dat i went was wid my father . i dont remembr it a lot , i was tiny but he took me . ive forgotten most of it ne way . my frnds wudnt go wid me wen i was in jai hind eventhough da aquarium was so near . but i went . it was fun . ill take my kids der fr sure , if they ever wanted to go ....
neways bye .

i just felt like ....

hmmmm
i thought im quite strng , very smart , extremely intelligent .... neva did i thnk dat this belief of mine ....will upset ppl ....i never was a snob , i cudnt be ... i mean i hate those kindda ppl....why is it dat ppl want you to cry , to be vulnerable .....
im writing this coz a guy ...nt dat i like him or have even 1 % of liking towards him am i writing this blog ... trust me.. no inclination of dat sort .
but somehow i always manage to hurt him...maybe ...alrte i thnk he lukz relly dumb ...noes nuthn about dressing up normal .....doesnt treat women well ....is sexually insatiable .... ( i noe it thru my sources :P) ....lol .....neways ....i thnk i behave normally ..... bt it is sumhow dat he is deeply saddened by da way i behave .... dis also i cum to noe thru a common frnd .....i mean jus coz i din shake hands with him coz my hands were dirty... covered with ketchup (im bad at table manners ) .....he's upset nd later bithces bout me to our common frnd ......i sumtymes dont understnd guys .....i mean nt dat im an expert at being with guys .... well i've practically screwed my relationshps..coz ive been "rude".......wen i thnk im normal ......
well ....i sum up as nt evr1 u meet will like u....
nd u dont need to explain urself to evr1 ...
bt den y is it dat .... while writing dis im relly sensing .....guilt maybe ....
wen nuthn on my part is intentional.....

What was her fault I ask ….what …????....marrying the man she fell in love with , for the guy she gave up her maternal home , for him , who she gave up her childhood , her innocence … ?...what has she done to deserve purple bruises all over her … a black eye! For gods sake , why does he mutilate her thoughts , rape her feelings , for causing much more pain than just physical brutality …. As I’ve grown up I’ve been a hardcore feminist ……why shouldn’t I be ….when only women can understand the pain a woman goes through …. Why are woman treated like sex objects ….every non-veg’ joke forwarded is on her …. Every time she walks on the road she is mentally undressed by the street-oglers who check her out shamelessly .. why is she expected to keep her head down ….is it her fault , that she gives birth , is it her fault that she is physically less stronger ……. Why does a man think that violence towards a woman or rather his wife is acceptable …. ????? why …. As I write this blog I have nothing but anger , disgust and hatred towards that kind of men , who use women …. Who take advantage of her …in the worst possible ways ….
Im fed up of seeing domestic violence happening everywhere around , when I was a kid in my home , now that I’m working, in my work place , im fed-up of being deceived , cheated and the feeling of being – used’ ….. Why aren’t questions raised bout a man’s chastity …..Why is a woman honor at stake …. Why are the maximum bad words referring woman...?/? ….
I noe none of my questions have answers , but ill still ask one moe ….. when will the world stop considering woman secondary ????????
Writing dis blog will not change things , not change my subject’s life either …… bt now I can sleep peacefully ….. since ive let it all out …

mr...not

Der I am …my new job …my 1st job …lol ….as I sit der I often ponder as to why i am being paid …hehe …well if warming ur ass nd reading ur books whilst ur looking at hawt …I mean …hawwwttt guyz …is calld wrk den I think otherwise …lol….well in this blog id like to describe …wt a real wannabe guy is ….i mean seriously ….idz fun to analyse dese weird attitude ridden creatures …. :P ..well ill start wid his physical appearance he …over built ….nd ….relly id say ….has baby fat … den …he thnks he’s uber good looking …well his way of walking interprets dat ….he thumps his feet on da floor which I feel will be a reason for tremors ….someday ….or da 1st floor bldng to collapse …(I hope dey have insurance … :) …well…den he nears my desk ..i bluntly hand over da locker keys …without making eye-contact …pretending to be immersed in my book ,….well u c ….i don’t want him to get da slightest idea dat im smitten by his …uber un-hawt ….lol body….hehehe…. den dat attention seeking process starts ….he 1st …places his …30 gb I pod , iphone ..his car keys with some goth …key chain ….and den walks all da way to da locker …makes some hugeeee noise ….den collects all his stuff ….one by one ….again creating a lot of commotion …still tryng to catch my attention ….den walks over to his locker thrashes dem into it ….nd ….comes back ….picks up a pen ..signs his attendance record register ….with so much of zest! ….dat he’s almost torn da paper … :\ …. Den …he pretends to read all da names who’ve entered …thus wasting more tyme …nd finally ….after all da drama …still unsuccessful at his attempt …to .err…impress!! ….he walks …away ….probably thinking ..of me as a nerd ….what he does’nt know ..is dat the level he irritates ….da helll outta me …is compelling me to write a whole blog …on him …..well …as I write this ….id further conclude …da such ...hyper-active pain- in- da- ass male creatures exist all over da planet …well…all I suggest is …get ur act together ….nd start realizing dat ur acting like a foOL !!

mistakes .

i learnt the 2 most imp lessons of my life today...

1. LISTEN to a guy's advice in guy matters!!!! for gawdsss sake!!

2. listen to ur brains...if uve got sum ....nt ur bloody hart ....

but be stupid enuf to make mistakes , n smart enuf to learn frm dem....