aqUARIum

....i went to the aquarium. it was fun . i went after sum i dono 8 yrs.
i saw many fishes nd a turtle nd idz babies . i wudnt like to live in a tank . the 1st time dat i went was wid my father . i dont remembr it a lot , i was tiny but he took me . ive forgotten most of it ne way . my frnds wudnt go wid me wen i was in jai hind eventhough da aquarium was so near . but i went . it was fun . ill take my kids der fr sure , if they ever wanted to go ....
neways bye .

i just felt like ....

hmmmm
i thought im quite strng , very smart , extremely intelligent .... neva did i thnk dat this belief of mine ....will upset ppl ....i never was a snob , i cudnt be ... i mean i hate those kindda ppl....why is it dat ppl want you to cry , to be vulnerable .....
im writing this coz a guy ...nt dat i like him or have even 1 % of liking towards him am i writing this blog ... trust me.. no inclination of dat sort .
but somehow i always manage to hurt him...maybe ...alrte i thnk he lukz relly dumb ...noes nuthn about dressing up normal .....doesnt treat women well ....is sexually insatiable .... ( i noe it thru my sources :P) ....lol .....neways ....i thnk i behave normally ..... bt it is sumhow dat he is deeply saddened by da way i behave .... dis also i cum to noe thru a common frnd .....i mean jus coz i din shake hands with him coz my hands were dirty... covered with ketchup (im bad at table manners ) .....he's upset nd later bithces bout me to our common frnd ......i sumtymes dont understnd guys .....i mean nt dat im an expert at being with guys .... well i've practically screwed my relationshps..coz ive been "rude".......wen i thnk im normal ......
well ....i sum up as nt evr1 u meet will like u....
nd u dont need to explain urself to evr1 ...
bt den y is it dat .... while writing dis im relly sensing .....guilt maybe ....
wen nuthn on my part is intentional.....

What was her fault I ask ….what …????....marrying the man she fell in love with , for the guy she gave up her maternal home , for him , who she gave up her childhood , her innocence … ?...what has she done to deserve purple bruises all over her … a black eye! For gods sake , why does he mutilate her thoughts , rape her feelings , for causing much more pain than just physical brutality …. As I’ve grown up I’ve been a hardcore feminist ……why shouldn’t I be ….when only women can understand the pain a woman goes through …. Why are woman treated like sex objects ….every non-veg’ joke forwarded is on her …. Every time she walks on the road she is mentally undressed by the street-oglers who check her out shamelessly .. why is she expected to keep her head down ….is it her fault , that she gives birth , is it her fault that she is physically less stronger ……. Why does a man think that violence towards a woman or rather his wife is acceptable …. ????? why …. As I write this blog I have nothing but anger , disgust and hatred towards that kind of men , who use women …. Who take advantage of her …in the worst possible ways ….
Im fed up of seeing domestic violence happening everywhere around , when I was a kid in my home , now that I’m working, in my work place , im fed-up of being deceived , cheated and the feeling of being – used’ ….. Why aren’t questions raised bout a man’s chastity …..Why is a woman honor at stake …. Why are the maximum bad words referring woman...?/? ….
I noe none of my questions have answers , but ill still ask one moe ….. when will the world stop considering woman secondary ????????
Writing dis blog will not change things , not change my subject’s life either …… bt now I can sleep peacefully ….. since ive let it all out …

mr...not

Der I am …my new job …my 1st job …lol ….as I sit der I often ponder as to why i am being paid …hehe …well if warming ur ass nd reading ur books whilst ur looking at hawt …I mean …hawwwttt guyz …is calld wrk den I think otherwise …lol….well in this blog id like to describe …wt a real wannabe guy is ….i mean seriously ….idz fun to analyse dese weird attitude ridden creatures …. :P ..well ill start wid his physical appearance he …over built ….nd ….relly id say ….has baby fat … den …he thnks he’s uber good looking …well his way of walking interprets dat ….he thumps his feet on da floor which I feel will be a reason for tremors ….someday ….or da 1st floor bldng to collapse …(I hope dey have insurance … :) …well…den he nears my desk ..i bluntly hand over da locker keys …without making eye-contact …pretending to be immersed in my book ,….well u c ….i don’t want him to get da slightest idea dat im smitten by his …uber un-hawt ….lol body….hehehe…. den dat attention seeking process starts ….he 1st …places his …30 gb I pod , iphone ..his car keys with some goth …key chain ….and den walks all da way to da locker …makes some hugeeee noise ….den collects all his stuff ….one by one ….again creating a lot of commotion …still tryng to catch my attention ….den walks over to his locker thrashes dem into it ….nd ….comes back ….picks up a pen ..signs his attendance record register ….with so much of zest! ….dat he’s almost torn da paper … :\ …. Den …he pretends to read all da names who’ve entered …thus wasting more tyme …nd finally ….after all da drama …still unsuccessful at his attempt …to .err…impress!! ….he walks …away ….probably thinking ..of me as a nerd ….what he does’nt know ..is dat the level he irritates ….da helll outta me …is compelling me to write a whole blog …on him …..well …as I write this ….id further conclude …da such ...hyper-active pain- in- da- ass male creatures exist all over da planet …well…all I suggest is …get ur act together ….nd start realizing dat ur acting like a foOL !!

mistakes .

i learnt the 2 most imp lessons of my life today...

1. LISTEN to a guy's advice in guy matters!!!! for gawdsss sake!!

2. listen to ur brains...if uve got sum ....nt ur bloody hart ....

but be stupid enuf to make mistakes , n smart enuf to learn frm dem....

da circle of human stupidity.

All my life I’ve had choices …back den I dint know ….the complexity of things ….how my stupid choices would determine …my existence, my sole being , im sure evri person s offered choices …how is person to know which 1 to make … I have pondered bout this question all my life ….i think ….id just comes to u….u decide the nature of ur existence …the course that ur life will lead into …. It was my choice not to give in….unconciously maybe …but …dat has helped ….today as I look back ..i can be proud….or maybe boast bout it ….dat I never entered relationships ….just coz evri1 was doing it ….i never slept around just to fit in …I never bot a levis ka jeans just coz …evr1 has it …nd evr1 shUd have it ….i never flaunted the cards in my wallet just to fit in …. I never visited places …just to boast bout it later ….the whole world …is rotating ….nd fooled by the concept of must haves’….don’t u c …idz a stupid trick played by …by the corporatism …

And the rest of the human clan …behaves like puppets …. When I look around …I c a world of followers ….ppl r in a constant battle to please others….were did the virtue of self –importance disappear … a person is loved by ppl if he respects them …LIStens to dem ….i ask y ??... y isn’t the person loved ,who has risen through the miseries …and attained everything by his determination and HIS will, not by the HELP of certain ppl , …infact such ppl are despised ….instead of being respected they are feared …people are evil. Every human being is pure evil. There is a self-interest involved in everything being done , then why is it feared why don’t ppl acknowledge it proudly …why is the world scared …by whom? Why ….through our childhood …we are taught by the mildly retarded teachers, that we HAVE to listen to our elders …we were slapped, punished ruined for asking questions …..or questioning their system ….but now vr all grown up …y are we still surrounded by things where doing things to please others is soooo important . why can’t we break the shackles ….and live a life …primarily to please oneself …with no regrets no guilt involved . a human being is the most intelligent creature in existence den y are we scared to recognize that.. comparing ourselves with another human being … another creature of superior intelligence…is the most awful..disgusting thing done to a person .i wish der is a tyme ...where evrione realises his worth ....

un-f0rgettABLE

life was easier when small,
thought id be happier when i grow up,
the innumerable things i wanted to be,
is blown away in smoke ,
as i linger here smoking weed,
happiness didn't like me,
never had a single friend,
never missed them all dat much,
had acquaintances,
but no feeling of belonginess,
ignorance was bliss when small,
lonesomeness didn't hurt that much ,
today im alone as i used to be,
only thing dats changed is that im all grown up.
why he left ,
i do not know,
he must've had his reasons ,
i understand though,
inadequasies gripped our loving souls,
never had let someone be so close before,
maybe dats coz the process was unbearable,
but im sure he'll be happy ,
wherever in the world he chose to be ,
without me.