Responsiveness to stimuli

Unrequited love is the most painful kind of love, it almost kills its victims- (read somewhere but remained with me). I walk and i work like crazy only to keep you off my mind. Tried to forcibly get attracted to a random guy i met in my guitar class. But got rejected there. By the guitar and the guy too. Usshe asked me the other day am i sadist? do i love this feeling.The instrument i wanted to learn desperately. So that i could sing all heartbroken love songs. So that someday we would meet in a party and I'd play , sing along and make an attempt to make you feel guilty. I have immersed myself in my work, trying to keep you off my mind. Those lanes that we walked, those sweet words, the way i held you. I dreamt of you the other day, i dream of you often. Even if we ever meet, actually possibly even get married.You would surely be that mean husband who would treat me secondary to everything. Cheat on me, make me your servant and expect me to fulfill my wifely duties with pleasure. I don't want you back. I don't even want a hug from you. I tried and failed miserably to find someone to replace you. I guess i should get accustomed to getting rejected by everyone. What hurts me the most that i decided to replace you by this instrument i had lying with me. Given to me by my brothers friend. I thought it will help me , being inanimate and all. It doesn't know that I'm in need. Of someone, something that will replace you. But it doesn't make sense. Even a stupid instrument wouldn't help me get over you.Those stupid empty walks which are filled with strangers, some hot guys who catch my eye. Nothing seems to fill up the hole you have left in me. The dent that will never go away. The bruise that will always have a scar. You don't even remember me. I wish i forgot to exist. Forgot to breathe.Forgot to feel this feeling.

*someday i'd like to read this post and laugh at being so silly , waiting desperately to get there.