life ...as it is...

which asshole said life is easy ....whoever said at must be so so doped up ....that they cudnt thnk right ...

as per me ....life is a constant battle from the day u wer born to the day you will die ...

it is a constant phase of fighting against people ...

what is god .....an illusion created by human beings to hope that there is something out der to help ...or may be save... but ...

the bitter truth is that there is no human who has the balls to acknowledge the fact there's no one out der absolutely no body ....

v r born alone ....v live alone and v are dead alone ....

i often think to myself what a crazy person i was to think.....that things are mine....

things like 'my family ' ...my friends' ...my clothes ....my body .....absolutely nuthn is mine ...

i stand no were ....i believe in nuthn .....

i once beilieved in the ayn rand gibberish ....i truly really believed that i can adress myself as I " ......i have enough ego and self respect ...im free and nobody controls me ....

why did i forget that v all are complete slaves ....

slaves who are bounded by time ....

if god loved us ....or even existed ...

why did he make us do terrible things ....then why did he create time ....something which cannot be reversed ...

why do v have a constant need to likable .....

well , i tried ....ND what did i get in return ...hatred , hurt , pain...character assassination ..

i learnt one thing in life .....

when you're in trouble nobody will stick to u....they'll just abandon you ...

its like all your so-called family ...is out on a mission to practically screw your life...

its like they get some sadistic pleasrue in screwing your case big time .....

what is difference between sane people and insane people ......personally i prefer the insane ones ......they look more sensible to me ...

where do i stand??? ....am i on the verge of losing my mind ....or have i totally lost it....

i dont find meaning in being happy ....

i dont find sense in wearing good clothes ....

i dont find sense in human interaction ....

alll people love talking bad about other people ....

alll people no matter how nice they appear are ...just on a mission to royally fuck some1 else .....for no apparent reason .....

we all hold on to grudges .....we all hate ...we all curse and we all....are bad .....

when i turn pages of mythology and history books ....i often find that , the so-called "bad guys " were more moral than the so -called "hero " .....

who decides what is good and bad ...

why are all people so judgemental ??????....

why do we love screwing other people ....when our own life is shyt ....

why do we love crticising and giving opinions when not asked ...

when a girl in my class walks upto me ...and says ....my Ur painting ...is sooo bad ...idz totally bulshyt ..... i just dont find it neccessary to turn back and say mind ur own bussiness bitch !!!.....coz ....i simply dont care ....

all my life .....i was a cheerful person ..very optimistic, about my life ....i always dedicided ...that ill be an obsever ...ill simply observe my life from far ...nd never take nethn to heart ...coz evrythng will just pass.......i decided ....that the simplest way to solve problems between human relations ..,.is to ....Talk .....but y the hell is that soooooooo impossible ....

i cant hate people ....i just cant ...but i cant seem to love them also ....

i have no1 ...

i have adjusted to it ....

i packed my bagpack once ....i almost caught a train to ...go somwer far far away ..... wer no1 asked questions , talked bad about me ....no1 judged the way i looked ..

but i dint seem to have the balls to do that ....

i still dont know y ...

day in and day out ....im drifting into my own little space...

i find it hard to smile ....or even be happy ...

i never relly wanted money ... but a owe a lot of it ...to a lot of people ....

i hope ill be able to pay it back ..b4 i die ...

i never wanted to cause harm ...

i still practise self control and will always will....

but when u do that ...all people seem to have a mission to test ur patience ...

i end my blog ...~~~ wishing good luck and prosperity to all ~~~ live .

P.S - bob marley was stupid enough to thnk that he cud change the world ... i did too ....nd i loose .